Our new mornings, 1983

1983

Mommy goes to work very early every morning.

She hasn’t had a job since we were born

but she had to get one now that Daddy’s gone.

She sets a timer on the microwave

so I know when to get up.

It’s so dark when I hear that little beep.

I think there might be

a bad guy hiding in the closet or under my bed

but no one else can check for me.

I try not to worry

like Mommy told me

and I start to dress myself.

It’s hard to button my shirt

and tie my shoes by myself

but I’m learning.

I tell myself, “I’m only five!

This is not how it should be!

I want my mommy!”

Tears feel hot in my eyes.

But I won’t let them fall

because there is nothing I can do about it.

I promise myself:

When I’m a mommy someday

it won’t be like this at all.

I hide that promise

in the deep down place no one sees.

When I’m finished I wake Sister up.

She can stay in her pajamas

since she doesn’t go to school yet.

We walk up the stairs

and see the light under the door.

We open it to Grandpa and Grandma and Aunt N

smiling at us, and our plates are ready.

When my tummy’s full

with warm pancakes and bacon

I feel okay again

for a little while.

3 thoughts on “Our new mornings, 1983

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