When Daddy left, 1983

abandonment 1983

The first time I saw Daddy cry

he stood by the door with his suitcase

and told us he and Mommy

would not live together anymore

but he still loves us girls

and he always will

and he will see us soon.

His tears made me afraid

because daddies aren’t supposed to cry

or leave forever

either.

He asked us to give him a hug

goodbye.

It was hard not to scream

while I did it

but I gave him a hug anyway

and this time I wasn’t afraid

to cry in front of him

because he was crying too.

But Sister screamed

“Daddy don’t go!”

over and over

while she watched him leave

through the screen door

and Mommy didn’t even stop her.

When we asked why he left

Mommy told us

Daddy had decided

to sleep with another woman

not just sleep with her in a bed

but be with her like she’s his wife.

That’s why Daddy can’t stay.

I know it’s a commandment

and Daddy broke it.

After that she told us

it is okay to be sad

so the three of us

just lay quietly crying

in our own beds.

In my bed I thought

Daddy and Mommy

probably won’t ever be together again

and I would be okay with that

only if

it was just Mommy, me, and Sister

from now on.

We lay in our beds

for a long, long time.

Night came

before we ever got up

from crying.

2 thoughts on “When Daddy left, 1983

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